Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Owen My Nursing Three Year Old


So when are you going to wean him? How long do you plan to nurse him?

I started hearing questions like this when Owen was a tiny baby and far, far to young to wean. As Owen approached a year, the questions peaked because surely I would wean him soon (*they* supposed). He could walk and talk and was eating a variety of solid foods (though no grains yet), surely he would be done nursing soon.
I don't know if the people who asked those questions finally got the message that nursing was good for babies AND children and that I had no intention of weaning him because it provided excellent nutrition and antibodies as well as physical comfort and the World health organization recommended a MINIMUM weaning age of 2 years old. Or maybe they heard that the natural age for weaning human babies from the breast was between 2.5 and 7 years old. Or maybe they finally decided that I was just SO WEIRD that there wasn't any use in asking me once Owen passed the magic age after which he *should* have been weaned. Maybe we crossed into such uncharted territory, that they thought we would never return to any kind of normal existence - like going into outer space and coming back somehow *touched* by an alien encounter.
Whatever, the reason, I have only been asked a handful of times in the past two years when Owen will wean despite the fact that we continue to NIP (nurse in public) regularly.
I have been told that certain people are uncomfortable with me nursing Owen, but, you know what, there were people who were never comfortable with it, and there are people who are ignorant (and I mean that in the nicest possible way - simply that they don't know), and there are people who have hang-ups (see also people who were never comfortable). I can't control other people's issues, and I can't make health decisions for me and my child based on them either.
And so, we have nursed these three years and a day. Now Owen nurses much less frequently than at first, and he no longer nurses to sleep at night, but it is still an important part of my parenting him and good for both his health and mine.
Do I think I'll be writing a post a year from now about my tandem nursing 4 year old? Who knows? If I am nursing Owen at 4, you can bet big money that I will be shouting it from the roof tops because I think the fact that it is natural and healthy for children to nurse at that age needs to be normalized in our society. If he's done nursing by then, that's great too. Nursing can be both physically and emotionally exhausting, and when Owen weans, I know that he will be better prepared for life after full-term nursing.

8 comments:

KiwiObserver said...

Anna weaned fully at about 3 1/2 years old. It was a very gradual process that started when she was 3. I think we were both ready, but it had to be done gradually and with love. I hate seeing mothers wean their children cold turkey. Talk about trauma. No wonder some people have issues. Last I knew, my friend was still nursing her 5-year-old boy. And tandem! Yay for you.

Kelly Elmore said...

Fantastic! Livy weaned herself at about 3 years and 3 months, but I suspect she might have gone longer if David and I had not divorced. Once she was used to the 3 1/2 days with him without the nursing, she gradually stopped nursing when she was with me. Unlike you guys, she was day weaned long before she was night weaned. Her last feeding to go was the one to put her to sleep. I was sad for a while, and I sometimes still miss it.

Does this tandem nursing comment mean you are pregnant?

Tracy said...

I have no idea when we'll wean. I am determined to keep nursing through next winter. I really enjoy it, but I dislike pumping at work. I'm looking forward to just nursing...one way or another.
I flashed all my inlaws during our Passover Seder when Martin was way too interested in the goings on to stay put. Good thing they are much more comfortable with it than my own family. I'm looking forward to Erin having her baby so that all 3 Brodsky cousins will be nursing at once and we can take a group nursing picture in Philie.

Possum said...

Yay for all the nurslings and such dedicated mamas!
Carolyn, I can't even imagine going cold turkey - it would be hell on everybody.
Kelly, I fully expected to be the sole mama on the planet nursing her teenager to sleep, but Owen got to a point where he'd nurse and nurse for over an hour but not go to sleep. We changed to bedtime routine by moving up the nursing, and everybody was happy!
Tracy, I can't even begin to count how many people have seen my boobs, and it doesn't even phase me. I'm really not an exhibitionist; really, I do try to be reasonable modest most of the time, but to tell the truth, I'm more concerned with flashing a bit of my muffin top as I lift my shirt to nurse than I am of my boob. I'd love to see a picture of the three Brodsky cousins nursing - very sweet.

KiwiObserver said...

Anna says she's very jealous of Owen. and she wishes she was 3 again.

Kelly Elmore said...

Was there something in the water in that suite in Quintard that made us all so hippified? Has Shannon had a baby yet? Is he nursing through junior high, yet?

And Tracy, I think working moms who breastfeed are incredibly heroic. It seems like it would be so hard. Yay for you!

Melinda, I am a little bit of an exhibitionist. If it was just my boobs, I would flash them all over creation. But, like you, I get self-conscious about my belly. That I want to keep nice and covered.

KiwiObserver said...

Don't know about hippified. I think extended bf is more to do with (1) knowing the overwhelming scientific evidence in favour of it and (2) reacting against our fragmented/isolated society. I know those were the big 2 for me, and the fact that Kelly made me read Dr Sears!

Jessie said...

What a beautiful picture! I love nursing Jackson and know that our nursing relationship will end when he decides. Hopefully that will not be for a LONG time. I do wonder about him falling asleep without nursing. Will that really ever happen:)