Tie Dye

Carolyn and Anna recently sent Owen this nifty tie dyed shirt and a pair of overalls to go with it. It was nice and bright and just came out of the wash today as nice and bright as it started. Thanks!

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It has been snowing most of the day but finally started to stick around 2 pm as Owen went to sleep for a late nap. He was thrilled to wake up to a thin blanket of the white stuff, and immediately asked Abram to take him out to make a snowman. He had big plans and got three carrots from the drawer for noses for a whole family of snowpeople: a daddy snowman, a mama snowman, and a baby snowman.
I was amazed that they made one large snowman before it got dark.

Here are Owen's directions for a snowman:
We put a carrot for a nose.
(Prompted by Abram on different parts, he elaborates. . .)
Pine cones for eyes, pine needles for hair.

Great Minds Think Alike

I also made an advent calendar for Owen this year - without knowing Mom was making this one.
The pockets of this one are sewn into a garland, and each one has a little slip of paper with a fun holiday activity for us to share. It is a way for us to share old holiday traditions and build new ones.

In no particular order, here are the items:
Get Christmas decorations from basement. (and decorate)*
Go and get a Christmas tree. (and decorate)*
Make mulled cider.
Make hot chocolate.
Make warm vanilla.
Take a night walk to look at Christmas lights.
Go ice skating.*
Sing Owen's favorite Christmas carol.
Sing Daddy's favorite Christmas carol.
Make paper snowflakes to decorate windows.
Sing Mama's favorite Christmas carol.
Visit the Hillsboro Christmas lights.
Sing Anne's favorite Christmas carol.
Sing Micah's favorite Christmas carol.
Sing Granddaddy's favorite Christmas carol.
Read the nativity story.
Read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.
Watch Rudolph.
Wrap Daddy's Christmas present.
Make a paper chain.*
Go to Hershey Park.
Tell a story about Mama at Christmas.
Tell a story about Daddy at Christmas.
Tell a story about Owen at Christmas.
*indicates ones we have already done

Our paper chain was made from junk mail - so essentially free. Owen liked cutting with the paper cutter and taking the chain apart. He did a little putting together and stapling too.


It reached around 1 1/2 walls in our living room.
This was Owen's first time ice skating. It was hard work. He made it around the rink once with a lot of help,
took a break to watch some girls practicing jumps. Watching the big girls fall and practice seemed to re-energize him, and he made two more rounds. A lot of the last one was on his own.

Advent Calendar

Owen has been enjoying an advent calendar Anne and Granddaddy sent him in the mail. Starting Tuesday, each day he gets to take a treat from a little pocket. As you can see, the first three are empty now. Owen is still coming to terms with the fact that he can't take all the treats at once and that a bath bomb (that is in the pocket for Christmas Eve) in not edible.
So far he has started growing a magic mistletoe (one of those expanding in water thingies), taken a bath with soap shaped like a Christmas tree, and blown bubbles. I guess sometime before Christmas he will either eat that bath bomb or let it fizz in the tub - hopefully he can leave it in the 24th pocket until then. We'll see.

X-Rated Santa

Last night, Owen wanted "a furry red suit to dress up as Santa." I told him we didn't have one, but he thought we should look anyway. I assured him that we did not own a "furry red suit" and no amount of looking would help. I suggested he think of something we did have. After his bath, he hopped out of the tub and ran to the living room where he found a couple of stockings that are his new "Santa outfit" - a very chilly one, but he is supremely pleased with it. This evening, he wanted to wear it to the grocery store. He, of course, had to wear real pants and a shirt along with the stocking portions of the outfit, but he got not one but two compliments on his hat!

Wordsmith Wednesday: Discipline Without Distress

This is another book that came up multiple times when I asked for recommended gentle discipline reading. Abram went to the trouble of getting it for me ILL. I took it on our car trip to TN, and I was disappointed to find that my precious book-on-a-car-trip space had been taken up by a book I didn't even finish the first chapter of (yup, ended with a preposition -whatcha gonna do?).
Discipline Without Distress (Judy Arnall, 2007) reads like a bad high school term paper (you know - no original ideas, lots of poorly organized cataloging, and no real direction or point). Arnall has a prescriptive approach, and spends lots of time telling the reader what you should do and think. She spends countless pages describing in painful detail things that any resonable adult should be expected to know (half a page on what might make a parent feel angry - Really? You think I don't have any idea what might make me angry?) and what anyone with internet access or a basic child development book (including many a mainstream parenting self-help book) could easily find.
I have limited time, and I need real tools that can be applied in a varitey of situations. This book just didn't cut it for me. There might be some gems in it, but having read a bit and scanned the rest, I am not willing to mine for them. If you are looking for a good GD book, I'd pass on this one and see my Wordsmith Wednesday post from last week instead.

Wordsmith Wednesday: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Parenting has never been *easy* for me, but I have recently realized that we are moving into a stage where Abram and I really need more tools in our tool box. Owen is precocious, very energetic, and wildly impulsive, and these make for colorful days. On the most colorful of days I sometimes wish he was a bit duller - but not really, just a passing fancy.

I asked for some recommended reading on gentle discipline (GD)and got a few recommendations. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, 1980 came up again and again from friends and on the Mothering.com message boards. There were a few caveats that it was a bit dated but was still worth reading.
After reading it and doing the exercises in the book, I have also asked Abram to read it. I think it should have been called How To Talk So People Will Listen & Listen So People Will Talk. It is very much a guide on effective communication. It is well organized (which I can't say about other recommended GD books I've started) and in addition to explanations of techniques, it includes cartoons (gotta love a book with pictures), exercises for reflection and practice of the new techniques, real life examples from the authors and from their workshop participants, and crib sheet of techniques in each chapter. I really like the crib sheets. I think it is helpful to have something to look back at and indicative of proper organization that the authors could include a very short summary of each chapter's key points.
Here is an outline of the book (for my own personal reference as well as your interest):

• Helping Children Deal With Their Feelings

Listen quietly and attentively
Acknowledge their feelings with a word (oh, mmm, I see)
Give the feeling a name
Give the child wishes in fantasy (I wish we could always stay up late and have fun.)

• Engaging Cooperation

Describe what you see or the problem
Give information
Say it with a word
Describe what you feel
Write a note

• Alternatives To Punishment

Express you feelings strongly - without attacking character.
State your expectation
Show the child how to make ammends
Give the child a choice
Take action
Problem-solve (with your child)

• Encouraging Autonomy

Let children make choices
Show respect for a child's struggle
Don't ask too many questions
Don't rush to answer questions
Encourage children to use sources outside the home
Don't take away hope

• Praise (I think what they describe should be called acknowledgment.)
  

Describe what you see
Describe what you feel
Sum up the child's praiseworthy behavior with a word

• Freeing Children From Playing Roles

Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of himself or herself
Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently
Let children overhear you say something positive about them
Model behavior you'd like to see
Be a storehouse for your child's special moments
When the child acts according to the old label, state your feelings and/or your
expectations

• Putting It All Together

As far as I can tell, the only thing dated about this books is the occasional reference to record players. I really appreciate the authors' descriptive approach; the prescriptive approach of other books I've have been reading is a big turn-off for me. I can take what I think is useful and leave what I don't think is helpful. Their rather simple approaches (in principal) can be applied with Owen now and with Abram too ;o) - seriously, these are basic communication techniques. Thanks to those of you you recommended this book, and to those of you who haven't read it, I'd strongly recommend getting hold of a copy.